


guardian moon

by knoir (bchemicalromance)



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: ???? - Freeform, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Spoilers, is it really though, minor appearances from these other characters, not surprised but sad nonetheless, play to chapter nine, sad byleth is sad, the pairings are subtle not worth noting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 01:10:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20145091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bchemicalromance/pseuds/knoir
Summary: it seems that even the professor grieves.





	guardian moon

**Author's Note:**

> in the words of natsuki from doki doki literature club: fucking monica

Byleth had the misfortune of watching his father die twice. 

Byleth was a good distance from his father the first time it happened, letting him talk to that student in peace. When he was younger, he all but refused to leave his father's side after a battle, but as long Byleth could see him, he was fine. 

The girl turned away, and Byleth set on his heels to return to his father when she suddenly turned back, stabbing Jeralt as she did. He didn't let the initial shock set in, and easily used Divine Pulse, staggering once time was reversed. Had he known this were to happen, he would have used it sparingly, and not let his students inch closer to the Death Knight. He grabbed his sword to steady himself, just in time to see it all happen again. But this time, Byleth's sword reached out to get the student before she could get his father. Though that time, a man appeared and blocked the attack. Byleth gasped, helplessly watching the man grab Monica, and in a flash they were gone, leaving Byleth with the sight of his father dropping to his knees, and then to the ground. 

Byleth ran over to his father, hands already in the air prepping a heal spell. He had been practicing his magic, Faith and Reason alike. After a long winded debate between Annette and Felix last month, Byleth decided to make them both happy and work on both skills to become a Mortal Savant by the time they graduated. But it wasn't enough, Byleth couldn't get the spell right and his hands were shaking and his father was dying. Byleth plunged to his knees and carefully flipped his father over so he could face him. Why had the told the Blue Lions to start back to the Monastery? Why had he shooed them off so confidently, thinking he and his father would finally have time to talk?

"Sorry..." Jeralt choked, "it looks like I'm going to have to leave you now."

Byleth's lip quivered and tears welled up in his eyes. Did he just watch his father close his eyes for the last time? 

Byleth looked up to his father, quite literally at that. One of his earliest memories involved him looking up at his father, assessing him after he had just come home after a mercenary gig. Byleth easily noted how tired he looked, and had his fair share of scrapes and bruises. But when it's all over Byleth hugged his father, a reward for the both of them.

"This is nothing," Jeralt would reassure. "I could do it with my eyes closed." Jeralt ruffled his son 's hair and his child, stoic as ever even then, was content with that answer. 

He looked up to his father instead of the healer that closed his very first stab wound. That was when Jeralt first expected his child to cry, after fourteen years of being a quiet child. But he didn't only gripped his father's hand and bore into his eyes. But if being stabbed wasn't enough of a surprise, the tears from his son's eyes that fell on his face really did him in. It was almost if he was waiting to see those tears before he died. 

Byleth supposed, if anything, his father died feeling complete, having seen his son cry. He wouldn't have to question if he was a good father or not, considering the circumstances. But it wasn't enough; his father was gone. Byleth sobbed over his father's body until a knight showed up, there to ask his captain if they could commence their march. Byleth greeted the knight through blurry, teared eyes. 

Instead of their Captain leading the Knights of Seiros proudly back to the Monastery, the knights surrounded their captain, protecting his body as it rode carefully on his horse. Byleth walked besides the horse, holding his father's limp hand. Jeralt had always tried to get Byleth on a horse, so he could move further and faster, and so his own horse wouldn't have to slow for Byleth's walking pace. He tried even before they were in the Monastery. It was one of the last conversations they had before running into those brats anyway. 

It felt as though time had stopped when they returned to the Monastery. Even in the rain, Lady Rhea looked at the entrance from that grand balcony of her's. He couldn't tell her what happened. Goddess, he would rather indulge in the gory details to anyone _but_ her. He barely managed to tell the damned knight in the first place. He had the guard tell Alois, Alois told Rhea, and Rhea told everyone else. Jeralt was buried the next morning. It was a basic, ceremonial event, nothing fancy. But everyone was there; the Knights, the students, the monks, everyone, as if it was the Archbishop's funeral they were attending. Jeralt would have hate to know how important he became. Wasn't that why he left the Monastery in the first place?

Byleth stood in the corner of it all, closest to his parents, not that he felt like he knew either of them very well. He nodded at everyone's condolences, and went straight to the Captain's Quarters once it was all over. Byleth marched upstairs as he always did when he was there to complain. Jeralt would distinguish his son's blank look perfectly, and would tell his son to close the door. There, they would sit on the opposite couched, kicking their fit up on the table in between them, and just complain. And today, by the Goddess, today Byleth had something to complain about. A funeral like that? Byleth's father would have turned in his grave every time someone wished the Divine Seiros to protect him through his journey into the afterlife. Bullshit. Jeralt never believed in the Church, and Byleth was positive his father wouldn't take it up in the afterlife. 

_Afterlife?_

Byleth stopped in his tracks, nearly tripping on a stair. He grabbed the railing to steady himself, eventually succumbing to sit on them. 

His father was _dead._

There was no other way to put it. He watched his mother's plot get dug up so Jeralt's coffin could be placed on top. He watched the dirt pile over the both of them once more, and then everyone put flowers overtop. He couldn't see them at all now, there were too many things in his way. How were they to talk now? 

Byleth's head snapped up, wiping away his tears (he hadn't realized he was crying again, how long had he been doing that for?). His father left him something, something he was told to look for if his father ever died. He grabbed the railing once more as he heaved himself up, making his way up the rest of the stairs. He turned one corner, and then another into the room and--

He doesn't know what he was expecting. 

Sometime later, Sothis gently reminded him why he was there when she didn't hear his sobs rack the walls of the too empty room. 

"Hm?" She hummed, getting a better look at him. "Are you still crying?" Byleth brought his hands to his face and felt the dampness through his gloves. He was. 

As per Sothis' suggestion, he looked behind the bookshelf and found the aforementioned journal. It was old, the leather cover well worn through the years of bending it over. The pages, filled with writing, had faded and yellowed. The entires dated back to the time Byleth was born, Jeralt's handwriting noting about the baby he had to save. Byleth learned when he was born he did not cry, nor have a heartbeat. Initially, his mother died ensuring her baby's survival. And then his father saved him from Lady Rhea, from the Church. And this was how he repaid his father. Some child he was.

"There you are," a new voice called, making Byleth jump. For a while, he only heard Sothis', as he always did. Yet, when he turned around, it was Dimitri. 

"Lady Rhea was looking for you," he explained, head tipping slightly to the side as he took in the look on his Professor's face. In the half year Dimitri knew his Professor, he had only seem him smile less than a handful of times, once at most. But seeing his Professor like this, so broken and lost, reminded the prince all too well of who he was once. "I was thinking we could have dinner when you're done. You haven't eaten since it happened, have you?"

Dimitri shook his head as to scolded himself, and apologized for being insensitive. He even offered to see what Lady Rhea wanted on Byleth's behalf. Despite all of that his teacher shook his head and thanked his student for the information.

While Dimitri was not surprised to not see his Professor in the Dining Hall later, he still asked Dedue to keep an eye on him. It was a simple task that could be executed with ease; Dedue's room was next to the Professor's. All Dimitri wanted to know was if his Professor was okay. 

His Professor was not okay. 

That was how Dedue chose to begin his report, with Dimitri and the other Blue Lions surrounding him earnestly. He wasn't leaving his room, Dimitri knew that much. The Blue Lions were left with Professors Hanneman and Manuela as their substitutes, though their original Professor was organized enough to leave the monthly lesson plan in the classroom. With a quick look around the Dining Hall, it was apparent their Professor wasn't leaving his quarters for anything at all. Dedue brought a meal and left it outside of his door, knocking on it to make the food's presence known. 

There was just one other thing, one last tidbit of information that Dedue hung onto as long as he could. 

"The Professor has been spending his nights weeping, Your Highness," he finally said to his liege. Dedue broke the gaze on the prince in favor for the ground. The sobs were incessant and guttural, paired with the occasional stumbling of a chair. "It does not stop until near dawn."

"And then?" Dimitri asked, searching for the answer in his comrade's eyes. Byleth would try to sob even when his voice went hoarse, eventually settling with light whimpers until he found himself asleep. 

"Then it is quiet."

* * *

"Your father left a ring for you, did he not?" Sothis asked the mortal kneeling in front of her, shoulders slumped with tears and weariness. "I'm sure it's in his quarters, you should go retrieve it."

Despite Sothis being understanding and uncharacteristically patient, Byleth could tell she was trying to get him to leave his room. In the week he held himself in there, the room had begun to smell of unfinished food left to rot, sweat from nightmares, and tears from grief. Perhaps some fresh air wouldn't be the worst thing for him to endure. 

After Byleth dressed himself, he gathered the plates in his arms and made for the Dining Hall, dutifully ignoring the sympathetic stare of a passerby. Getting rid of empty dishes tired out Byleth more than anticipated. As he turned to go back to his quarters, he spotted Annette and Mercedes. His students. 

He should go over to them, ask how they are, and see how them and the rest of the class has been fairing. Though his choice was ripped from under him when his two students spotted him. The conversation passed by him before he could realize. Two high pitched voices, mentions of sweets, and before he knew it, Byleth was walking away with a pink box in his hand. Byleth then became very aware of the fact that his legs had brought him past his room, and in the direction to the second level of the Monastery. That's right, he was going to get the ring. 

He found Leonie in the Captain's Quarters once he got there. 

His father's quarters. 

She was facing his bookshelf, only turning around once she noticed the Professor's silent presence. She blubbered on about him, how she lost him, how she lost someone so dear to her. Byleth's sorrow turned to anger. He felt his eyebrows knit together and something thump in his ears. His hands twitched by his sides, but ultimately did nothing as he watched her leave the room. 

"The ring," Sothis reminded. By the tone of her voice Byleth could tell that wasn't the first time she's had to say that. Once she had his attention, she added, "Look for it!"

He found it quickly, as if he watched his father put it away shortly after telling him about it, instead of putting it back in his furs. He stared at the silver band adorned with multi-colored gems. Interesting taste, his parents had. 

Byleth didn't linger in the room much longer after that, declaring to himself that he was now able to return to his quarters for the remainder of the free day. He rushed down the stairs to catch up to Dedue, calling his name so that the taller man stopped in his place. 

"Where's Dimitri?"

* * *

"Professor!" Dimitri exclaimed, looking up to the sound of the Training Ground doors opening. He put his sword aside too carelessly, not worried if he broke another one. 

"Welcome back," he smiled. "I was...We all were..." he breathed, as if to calibrate his thoughts. "You've been on our minds."

Byleth's chest warmed at the notion. His students truly cared for him, didn't they?"

"My strength is yours alone," Dimitri proclaimed. Byleth nodded, and tried to curve his mouth into a smile. The result was far from it, but Dimitri appreciated the incentive all the same. 

Byleth toyed with the ring in his pocket as he finally went back to his quarters, having stayed out until the bells chimed. Someone he loved? He'd have to think on that one.

**Author's Note:**

> headcanon that since byleth and dedue are neighbors in the monastery dedue can hear what's going on through the wall between them. 
> 
> now listen. i've played fire emblem before. i know parents, dads especially, it seems, don't stay alive if they're not dead already. there was foreshadowing, i already knew he was going to die, but it still hurt. i thought of this fic while moping around the monastery with the sad music playing. currently doing my second blue lions path as a ng+ and enjoying every moment i have with my dear dad jeralt eisner. you should too.


End file.
